Since deciding to have a baby my girlfriend’s sexual appetite has gone through the roof. The very minute she sees me she pins me to the ground.
We’re having sex up the stairs, on the kitchen counters and even in the garden. I can’t risk taking my clothes off for a shower without her viewing that as an invitation.
The other night I turned up late with my boss. He fancied coming in for a drink and she was furious. She kept telling me to get rid of him because she was hot.
I pleaded for more time. My boss is not a man to mess with, but in the end she stormed in, handed him his jacket and bag and told him that there was a taxi waiting outside.