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How to Stop Living to Please and Stay True to Yourself

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“When you say yes to others, make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho Have you ever felt like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough?

Like your worth is measured by how useful, accommodating, or strong you can be for others? This invisible burden is what I call the Good Girl / Good Boy Wound—a deep-seated conditioning that tells us our value lies in pleasing others, even at the cost of losing ourselves.

For generations, we’ve been taught to shape ourselves according to the expectations of those around us. Girls are often encouraged to be ‘nice’ and agreeable, while boys are praised for toughness and independence.

These messages shape us into adults who struggle to know who we truly are beyond what we can do for others. I lived under the spell of this conditioning for much of my life, constantly striving to be “good” in the eyes of family, teachers, and colleagues.

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