52 Funny Retirement Quotes: Short and Hilarious Sayings That Will Make You Laugh

Retirement.A big change. A new adventure.Exciting but maybe also a bit daunting and uncertain.To help you out with that I’d like to share 52 of the most witty, hilarious and funny retirement quotes.I hope you’ll find something here that will make you laugh, relax and maybe release a bit of stress and uncertainty about this brand new chapter in your life.“Retirement is wonderful.

It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret“In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.” – Terri Guillemets“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson“I’m retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!” – Unknown“I have never liked working.

To me a job is an invasion of privacy.” – Danny McGoorty“I would like to extend my condolences to your employer for the devastating loss.

Happy retirement!” – Unknown“When you retire, you switch bosses – from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Gene Perret“There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.” – Robert Half“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” – Hartman Jule“A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” – Ella Harris“Yes,” he laughed, “I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement.