positivityblog.com
88%
540
101 Funny Christmas Quotes for Your Friends, Family and Instagram (and Less Stress)
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller“That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.” – Jerry Seinfeld“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.” – Henry Youngman“Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” – Stephen Graham Jones“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.” – Kin Hubbard“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘Toys not included.'” – Bernard Manning“Christmas, here again.