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“How I Hide from the Neurodivergence That I Mistake as Weakness”

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additudemag.com

I try to mask my neurodivergence and how it impacts my life — the excessive worry, the missed appointments, the scratched-out plans, the unopened calendar or journal or self-help book stacked atop the others, and the forgotten words of encouragement I scribbled in the margins.

Why? Because stigma tells us that neurodivergence – bipolar II, anxiety, and ADHD, in my case – is a weakness. So, I hide.I buy an extra-large calendar for work and use a rainbow of colors to never forget my to-dos, attempting to visually imprint the needed information in my mind.

I set timers. And alarms. And reminders on my Alexas.I hang up a 48-inch by 47-inch magnetized chalkboard on the wall near my kitchen, so I’m able to see it from three rooms away.

This way, all appointments and reminders are front and center, smacking me in my face.I coated the board with chalkboard paint, but the wait in between each coat made me fear I’d lose interest in my attempted organization before I was able to finish.When all was said and done, the board didn’t erase as I hoped.

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