“I Thought I Sucked at Life. But I Was High-Masking Autism All Along.”
I thought I sucked at life. On the outside, I was positive and upbeat, a married mom of three, a business owner. I had a mortgage, an investment property, a postgraduate degree in psychology.
I had friends, prospects, blonde highlights. On the inside, I felt broken.I faked enthusiasm for most conversations. I was either painfully uninterested in the small talk of the other school moms, or wishing I could mitigate my ever-present fatigue with a nap by midday.
Every social event left me exhausted by anxious rumination. Why did I say that? What did they think of me? I’m so hopeless.By the end of the day, every noise felt like nails on a chalkboard: my kids scraping their dinner plates, the neighbor’s electric gate buzzing, my husband swallowing his beer.
The touch of my children, wanting a cuddle, made me recoil. I had to sleep alone to avoid the distressing sounds of someone else’s breathing.My adulthood was peppered with jobs abandoned, degrees unfinished.
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United States
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Cases: 46 252 513
Deaths: 750 423
Recovered: 0
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India
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Cases: 34 321 025
Deaths: 459 652
Recovered: 0
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Brazil
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Cases: 21 835 785
Deaths: 608 235
Recovered: 0
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United Kingdom
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Cases: 9 215 683
Deaths: 141 607
Recovered: 0
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Russia
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Cases: 8 494 589
Deaths: 237 619
Recovered: 0
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