As a woman, you have the power to do the same. Decentering men is not a strategy to make them chase you – it is actually a powerful self-care method that will transform your entire life, and men will chase you by default when you do it. Start treating being with and dating a man as something that takes up your resources, time, and energy excessively and demands more labor and effort than it’s worth–as a huge risk and liability to take on, especially when you’re not with the right partner.
Start to worry less about how to please other people and begin to honor your desires, your emotions, your needs, and wants. Refocus on the parts of your life you’ve been needing to focus on: whether it’s pursuing your education, going after your career, leveling up in your fitness and health, strengthening your friendships, having fun, or all of the above, think about what you would want your life to look like regardless of your relationship status, and don’t wait for a partner to do it.
Maybe you want to take that trip to Italy, or pursue that PhD, or go rock climbing. Whatever floats your boat, stay immersed and absorbed in your own life and build a strong self-concept.
The high-quality men who are interested (as well as some men who just love a challenge – make sure you know the difference) will gravitate toward you because they’re naturally drawn to a woman who is focused on her own needs, and places herself on the pedestal.You grew up in a patriarchy and were conditioned since you were young to seek the perfect marriage and one day become a wife and mother.