Richard Gadd wrote Baby Reindeer after therapy 'failed to help sex abuse trauma'

Richard Gadd has revealed he decided to confess all in his hit TV show Baby Reindeer because therapy failed to help him overcome the trauma of sexual abuse.The Scots star, 35, tried various forms of counselling in order to come to terms with being raped by a powerful theatre producer who had promised to make him famous.The comedian, from Fife, says he previously hinted at his ordeal as a stand-up comedian at Edinburgh’s Fringe festival, with his one-man show Monkey See, Monkey Do.But he says nobody realised or believed what he’d been through until he opened up about his ordeal in the Netflix mini-series.“Those shows still had traces of sexual abuse, but they were never done from like a deep, meaningful place,” Gadd said.“But I realised I just wasn’t doing it in the right way.

It was almost like I was trying to admit to it without admitting to it. “I couldn’t keep it up any longer. I remember having a choice where either I join them up and do a comedy show but actually admit what’s happened to me, or I step away and try to deal with it on my own time.” In deciding to write Baby Reindeer, he added: “I thought, well, that's my only recourse left.

I've tried all the therapies. Let's try this.”The muted reaction to his one man show inspired him to come clean about the abuse at the hands of an older man while writing Baby Reindeer, which has gone on to earn him a trio of Emmy awards.Though he admits his previous attempts at comedy had bombed.He said: “The early shows were quite debauched and punky and anti-comedy and in-your-face.“There’s almost nothing worse than dying on stage – it takes a bit of you every single time.“You have those moments where it's almost healing you as it's happening.