Unreliable. Unpredictable. Unfathomable.These are the qualities of an untrustworthy person – qualities I lived and breathed while (trying) to manage my undiagnosed ADHD.ADHD – especially untreated – is a condition of inconsistency.
We’re inexplicably “on” one day and “off” the next. It causes us to struggle to understand our behaviors and work out why we did (or didn’t) do something.I’d say one thing but do another; make a plan, then forget it.
I’d blurt out random things and make the simplest mistakes. I was scared to make future commitments because I couldn’t be sure what I’d be like when the day arrived – brilliant, or so off that it was hard to leave the house.I was inconsistent in mood, attention, behavior, focus, and even goals.
I had no inkling that there was any pattern to it. I wanted to do interesting things but committing to something out of the ordinary – like writing this blog post – risked months of dread, guilt, and procrastination.A lifetime of inconsistency led to some strange consequences.