My daughter shouts at me every day, and sometimes I shout right back.ADHD gives me plenty of skills I can model for my kids, but good frustration tolerance isn’t one of them.
I can make up silly songs on demand, but I’m rubbish at remaining unruffled when my 6-year-old’s temper flares.My younger child is a lovable ball of brightness, kindness, and fun, but many things short her circuit and invoke her iron will, from unsolicited carrots to socks that won’t reach their requisite height.She might well be neurodivergent herself. (We’re waiting in line for assessment.) But whatever the root of her proneness to grievance, it feels like we’re peas in a pod.
My patience is apt to desert me the second she loses hers.There are things I can give her directly to help her stay grounded and happy: empathy, boundaries, nutritious meals, plenty of nourishing cuddles, choice where possible, my fullest attention, the conscious uncoupling of me and my phone.
But kids need a stable, consistent caregiver who they can watch and copy. If I can’t manage my own frustration, how will she ever handle hers?I’ve been thinking a lot about how to model calm when it counts, and it strikes me that there are two things I need to nail if things are to be less shouty around here.[Get This Free Download: 5 Ways to Improve Emotional Control at Home]Most of what gives me balance is basic.