Learning about Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) — a profile characterized by intense, anxiety-driven resistance to everyday demands and expectations — finally helped me understand my son, Max, and how to support him.During his early years, Max would frequently refuse to do what was asked of him and insist everything be done his way.
He would inexplicably melt down or erupt in anger over seemingly minor issues. By the time he was 7, he had collected several diagnoses, including ADHD, autism, and ODD.
Commonly suggested behavioral strategies for neurodivergent children — from setting clear rules to using checklists, visual timers, and liberally doling out praise — didn’t help.
In fact, all they seemed to do was set up further power struggles where everyone lost.If this story sounds familiar, learning about PDA may also help you.Children with PDA have extremely reactive nervous systems that prime them to interpret requests and expectations as threats.
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