Q: “How can I truly accept myself when ADHD is generally described as a ‘deficit,’ by researchers and laypeople alike?”As a counselor who provides dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to adults with ADHD, this question comes up a lot in my work.
I also know first-hand of ADHD’s real and serious challenges because I also live with ADHD. DBT can teach us a lot about acceptance.
The “dialectic” in DBT means balancing opposites to find a middle ground. In this case, the opposites are acceptance and change.Acceptance doesn’t mean that you approve of your executive function impairments or the challenges you face due to ADHD.
It means being square with your symptoms and acknowledging the problems they create. When you acknowledge your reality, you’ll be able to turn your attention to change — working to mitigate the impact of ADHD symptoms and to make your life better.[Read: The Big Heart Approach to ADHD Acceptance & Self-Love]I look at my ADHD as a constellation of biologically based executive function impairments that I have to take seriously, just as if I had asthma, diabetes, or another chronic condition that requires ongoing attention and care.