When I was diagnosed with ADHD and dyscalculia at age 38, I wept for 10-year-old me. For the little girl who could not make sense of numbers, whose legs would shake and voice tremble when forced to stand and recite multiplication tables.

When I fumbled, my teacher would smack the chalkboard and shout “Wrong again!” as the class erupted in laughter. “Stupid, dumb me.” I whispered to myself as I retreated.I also wept for teenage me, who was called “dumb” and told countless times that she just needed to “try harder.” For the girl who felt she needed to wear a mask.

No matter what I did, it never felt like it was good enough.The tears I shed after my diagnoses have been like healing rains.

The grief and shame I feel are real, but I don’t want to stay in these places for too long. I want to move beyond them. So, I have decided to try to find the victory stories I never experienced as a child.I wish my teachers knew about my ADHD and dyscalculia.

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United States	Cases: 46 252 513 Deaths: 750 423 Recovered: 0
India	Cases: 34 321 025 Deaths: 459 652 Recovered: 0
Brazil	Cases: 21 835 785 Deaths: 608 235 Recovered: 0
United Kingdom	Cases: 9 215 683 Deaths: 141 607 Recovered: 0
Russia	Cases: 8 494 589 Deaths: 237 619 Recovered: 0

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