“Your silence will not protect you.” ~Audre Lorde When I was little, I learned that being “good” meant being quiet.
Not just with my voice, but with my needs. My emotions. Even the space I took up. I don’t remember anyone sitting me down and saying, “Don’t speak unless spoken to.” But I felt it—in the flinches when I was too loud, the tension when I cried, the subtle praise when I stayed calm, agreeable, small.
I felt it in the way adults sighed with relief when I didn’t make a fuss. I felt it in the way I stopped asking for what I wanted.
Goodness, to me, became about not rocking the boat. I remember once being told, “You’re such a good girl—you never complain.” And I carried that like a medal.
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