When it comes to marriage and choosing the right person to spend our lives with, we can’t help but wonder how we can be sure that we are making the right decision. The truth is, no one is perfect, and we all have our flaws, so finding someone who can tolerate us and whose flaws we can tolerate can seem to be a big deal. According to Alain de Botton, a founder of The School of Life, there seems to be a lot of anger that we hold on to, anger and rage that we secretly have, and it has us sulking about the way our love lives have gone.
However, he says that if we are able to turn that anger into sadness, then we can make progress. Why? Because if we can turn rage into grief, we have given up hope entirely.
In his words, “scratch the surface of any regularly angry person, and you will find a wild optimist.” Rage is primarily driven by hope.
And when it comes to love and relationships, it is extremely hard to give up hope because there are many, many industries that are all designed to inflate our expectations of love and what a loving relationship or marriage should be. One of the reasons you will marry the wrong person is because you are strange and difficult to live with.